i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Did I show you my penis last night?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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