this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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