Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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