its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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