Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
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today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
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All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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