please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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