Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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