If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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