im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
