Texts From Last Night

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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning

  (1-413): View more from Massachusetts

  More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I wish i could be there for it

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  (413): Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning (1-413): More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub (413): I wish i could be there for it http://tfl.nu/f5kk
  Replies (4) Good night (2465) Bad night (582)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.

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  (440): It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm. http://tfl.nu/s4sh
  Replies (9) Good night (2895) Bad night (795)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.

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  (203): Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes. http://tfl.nu/d0yb
  Replies (38) Good night (4891) Bad night (730)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes

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  (815): you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes http://tfl.nu/koyr
  Replies (195) Good night (944) Bad night (8365)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.

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  (502): bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story. http://tfl.nu/l5v1
  Replies (8) Good night (6366) Bad night (996)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago

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  (985): shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago http://tfl.nu/00sj
  Replies (20) Good night (6357) Bad night (1236)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer

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  (813): The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer http://tfl.nu/rmdc
  Replies (19) Good night (3851) Bad night (918)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.

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  (904): I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana. http://tfl.nu/xfg3
  Replies (16) Good night (3268) Bad night (1516)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.

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  (913): The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up. http://tfl.nu/odda
  Replies (5) Good night (4308) Bad night (944)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  I like the way you think.

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  (303): I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming. (1-303): I like the way you think. http://tfl.nu/s14n
  Replies (6) Good night (1777) Bad night (644)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took

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  (503): I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took http://tfl.nu/phka
  Replies (6) Good night (1507) Bad night (519)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.

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  (931): nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot. http://tfl.nu/k46y
  Replies (5) Good night (1214) Bad night (499)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask

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  (313): What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask http://tfl.nu/sq4u
  Replies (4) Good night (1320) Bad night (411)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go

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  (919): I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go http://tfl.nu/j7ma
  Replies (4) Good night (609) Bad night (283)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.

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  (662): Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know. http://tfl.nu/ri8v
  Replies (2) Good night (460) Bad night (153)

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