too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
