Texts From Last Night

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  (718): View more from New York

  so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood

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  (718): so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood http://tfl.nu/a9i9
  Replies (11) Good night (742) Bad night (1671)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.

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  (215): remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone. http://tfl.nu/qrrz
  Replies (9) Good night (766) Bad night (3402)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  operation "beaches make me wet" is a go

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  (734): operation "beaches make me wet" is a go http://tfl.nu/4jca
  Replies (3) Good night (3368) Bad night (572)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.

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  (847): For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining. http://tfl.nu/2itw
  Replies (30) Good night (4096) Bad night (964)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.

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  (319): Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up. http://tfl.nu/ktvf
  Replies (17) Good night (5188) Bad night (969)
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  (858): View more from California

  the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.

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  (858): the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus. http://tfl.nu/isnl
  Replies (5) Good night (3546) Bad night (1165)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.

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  (630): The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko. http://tfl.nu/k2r0
  Replies (3) Good night (1575) Bad night (861)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."

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  (717): He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird." http://tfl.nu/0yzz
  Replies (9) Good night (899) Bad night (3355)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night

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  (712): I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night http://tfl.nu/e3vx
  Replies (3) Good night (682) Bad night (1175)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.

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  (561): well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement. http://tfl.nu/wjgp
  Replies (10) Good night (874) Bad night (1885)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.

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  (519): Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud. http://tfl.nu/laot
  Replies (20) Good night (2008) Bad night (1050)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.

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  (843): The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover. http://tfl.nu/181u
  Replies (17) Good night (1695) Bad night (813)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick

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  (570): I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick http://tfl.nu/k83b
  Replies (3) Good night (614) Bad night (481)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Breakfast of champions

  (206): View more from Washington

  Is that a dick crepe?

  (425): View more from Washington

  It is indeed

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  (425): Breakfast of champions (206): Is that a dick crepe? (425): It is indeed http://tfl.nu/tzit
  Replies (4) Good night (1031) Bad night (412)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation

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  (407): Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation http://tfl.nu/aq4y
  Replies (1) Good night (475) Bad night (357)

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