so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?