Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?

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  (586): Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right? http://tfl.nu/c996
  Replies (20) Good night (2332) Bad night (1169)
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  (44): View more from England

  What's everyones problem with my costume?!

  (1-44): View more from England

  It looks like a unicorn came on your face.

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  (44): What's everyones problem with my costume?! (1-44): It looks like a unicorn came on your face. http://tfl.nu/f20r
  Replies (26) Good night (821) Bad night (2465)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.

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  (662): Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God. http://tfl.nu/m55y
  Replies (34) Good night (4004) Bad night (1979)
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  (315): View more from New York

  well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her

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  (315): well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her http://tfl.nu/gcpo
  Replies (12) Good night (1217) Bad night (4177)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.

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  (904): Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer. http://tfl.nu/ug99
  Replies (11) Good night (1958) Bad night (1303)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you

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  (214): My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you http://tfl.nu/i385
  Replies (12) Good night (3933) Bad night (954)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious

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  (931): Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious http://tfl.nu/qfwe
  Replies (3) Good night (2474) Bad night (628)
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  (310): View more from California

  Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.

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  (310): Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine. http://tfl.nu/yujo
  Replies (5) Good night (753) Bad night (1313)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.

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  (970): I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious. http://tfl.nu/wv8w
  Replies (6) Good night (569) Bad night (1420)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher

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  (508): Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher http://tfl.nu/j0wm
  Replies (3) Good night (1591) Bad night (402)
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  (949): View more from California

  Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.

  (949): View more from California

  I felt like a god.

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  (949): Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list. (949): I felt like a god. http://tfl.nu/u6fp
  Replies (6) Good night (1113) Bad night (425)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.

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  (303): Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way. http://tfl.nu/uitb
  Replies (7) Good night (533) Bad night (850)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket

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  (660): I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket http://tfl.nu/m2g4
  Replies (2) Good night (342) Bad night (178)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?

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  (618): You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming? http://tfl.nu/vj0c
  Replies (3) Good night (480) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field

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  (973): Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field http://tfl.nu/t5vl
  Replies (0) Good night (318) Bad night (104)

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