you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Its about making memories worth repressing
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
