i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
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No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
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well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.