Texts From Last Night

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  (912): View more from Georgia

  That's intense

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  (912) That's intense http://tfl.nu/r7sa
  Replies (18) Good night (924) Bad night (853)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.

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  (516): Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid. http://tfl.nu/hcvk
  Replies (47) Good night (5188) Bad night (741)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.

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  (484): The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit. http://tfl.nu/31my
  Replies (18) Good night (787) Bad night (3939)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.

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  (717): Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning. http://tfl.nu/u4c9
  Replies (5) Good night (2064) Bad night (882)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.

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  (561): I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down. http://tfl.nu/sm69
  Replies (3) Good night (2269) Bad night (900)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.

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  (314): The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll. http://tfl.nu/0tct
  Replies (4) Good night (1164) Bad night (2508)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.

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  (705): I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler. http://tfl.nu/mskj
  Replies (6) Good night (2628) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.

  (1-201): View more from New Jersey

  You're a rent hooker.

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  (201): No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both. (1-201): You're a rent hooker. http://tfl.nu/wbsz
  Replies (14) Good night (3701) Bad night (1023)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird

  (269): View more from Michigan

  OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO

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  (269): all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird (269): OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO http://tfl.nu/9b3x
  Replies (3) Good night (1926) Bad night (765)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore. 

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  (318): Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.  http://tfl.nu/j2xa
  Replies (4) Good night (1478) Bad night (1004)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.

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  (440): I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation. http://tfl.nu/4dbg
  Replies (2) Good night (874) Bad night (666)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.

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  (435): Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that. http://tfl.nu/d2qc
  Replies (11) Good night (942) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week

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  (770): Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week http://tfl.nu/af2g
  Replies (1) Good night (728) Bad night (257)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!

  (360): View more from Washington

  A cheater.

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  (360): If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me. (503): Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?! (360): A cheater. http://tfl.nu/8n8b
  Replies (20) Good night (1079) Bad night (377)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.

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  (214): Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me. http://tfl.nu/wbcl
  Replies (4) Good night (715) Bad night (393)

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