ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
