def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
