I want to make a zoo with you.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
im on a boat
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