Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
