dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
