So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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