I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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