When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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