I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
