To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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