he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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