Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
either way he was missing a nipple.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
