i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
