Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
