is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
