I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
