It was confusing and full of hummus
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
