Jerry, you need to find god
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
