but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
