I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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