Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
please don't ironically join a cult
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