i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
