idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize