She's JV to your varsity
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize