He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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