...so i touched it.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
So much rum. So many feels.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
