Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
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Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
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She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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