You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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