were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
