im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
