but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
