is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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