Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize