hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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