Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
