I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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