I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
