You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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