after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
