he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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