the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
