I wish my penis had an off switch
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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