my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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