My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
