people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
