I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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