Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
