If i come over, it means nothing
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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