so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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