theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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