were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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