Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
